Relocate to Wisconsin : Do MORE than be Aware....It's National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Do MORE than be Aware....It's National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

 October is Natonal Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  You may choose to glance at the title of this post and feel that it does not not affect you...you are not being abused...you don't think you know anyone who Domestic Violence Awareness Ribbonis...it's one more cause with a colored ribbon used to show support. Abuse can take many forms...it doesn't have to be the black eye or broken ribs your mind might image. 
    Emotional abuse is damage that may not show on the outside but has leaves scars on the inside...is witnessed by children and creates an environment of fear, a loss of self esteem...the statistics are staggering....and may surprise you:
      - 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience severe physical 
         violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime
       - 1 in 10 women in the United States will be raped by an intimate
          partner in their lifetime.
        Domestic Violence does not know a neighborhood...an income level...an ethnicity...It does know how to destroy a family....how to kill a spouse....to leave children without a parent.  It knows how to create despair ...to be overwhelmed by not knowing where to go...how a family will be clothed and fed.
     How can you go beyond reading this post....wearing a ribbon....your community has lots of ways that you can help break the cycle of abuse.       The Womens Center Waukesha   We are fortunate to have The Womens Center in Waukesha as a community resource for victims of domestic violence. Their needs and wish lists are most probably not different than the ones in your own community. TWC - Waukesha provides food, shelter, education, community outreach programs, a 24 hour hotline and many other programs.
    You can write a check to your local shelter...you can do it right now and in honor of a loved one on their birthday....as a memorial when a family has asked for donations to the charity of your choice...You can make that call to find out what items are on the wish list of a shelter in your area.  In our area the list includes different categories of items. There can be things for the shelter's use as simple as garbage bags and cleaning supplies, food pantry items can include soup, peanut butter and jelly, coffee, hot chocolate, cereal, pasta and other non perishable food items. 
     Whether you choose to write a check or fill a shopping cart...do more than be aware...be a part of the solution in your community to the very deserving cause of curbing domestic violence.
       This is a public service message brought to you courtesy of Sally K. & David L. Hanson, Broker Associates Keller Williams Realty.
    

Sally K. & David L. Hanson, ABR, CDPE, CSS, e-Pro,ILHM, REDS


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Comment balloon 23 commentsSally K. & David L. Hanson • October 05 2016 01:03AM

Comments

Good morning Sally & David.  Being in my former profession I can attest it happens way to often

Posted by James Dray, Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results (Fathom Realty AR LLC) over 1 year ago

This is a very important reminder for all of us.

Those of us who have been through many foreclosures have seen many indications of domestic violence.

Posted by Roy Kelley, Roy and Dolores Kelley Photographs (Realty Group Referrals) over 1 year ago

The statistics are  horrifying but it's good to see more awareness of interpersonal violence.  It has always been there, but previous generations have preferred to hide and ignore it.

Posted by Dianne Goode, Realtor/Broker (Raleigh Cary Realty) over 1 year ago

Thank you for the post. I hope others will read it too and donate  for this cause.

Posted by Gita Bantwal, REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel (RE/MAX Centre Realtors) over 1 year ago

Thanks Sally and David.  This is an unfortunate issue that we should all be aware of and look out for to help those in dire straits.

Posted by Gabe Sanders, Stuart Florida Real Estate (Real Estate of Florida specializing in Martin County Residential Homes, Condos and Land Sales) over 1 year ago

Sally & David, I was going to a blog on this too...I have dealt with a number of abused clients and it is so stressful for them to get out...thank you for raising awareness.

Posted by Ginny Gorman, Homes for Sale in North Kingstown RI and beyond (RI Real Estate Services ~ 401-529-7849~ RI Waterfront Real Estate) over 1 year ago

Good morning Sally and David. I agree with everything you have said here. Really important and well written too.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) over 1 year ago

It is nice to bring attention to it. Many are too scared to reach out. Have a good day Sally K. & David L. Hanson 

Posted by Scott Godzyk, One of Manchester NH's Leading Agents (Godzyk Real Estate Services) over 1 year ago

Hello Sally and David --- a very real "see something, say something" moment.  

Posted by Michael Jacobs, Los Angeles Pasadena Area Real Estate 818.516.4393 (Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage) over 1 year ago

Sally and David -abuse takes many forms and some notable people like Yankees Manager Joe Torre have experienced it.

Posted by Grant Schneider, Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes (Performance Development Strategies) over 1 year ago

I did not know this, Sally and David. Domestic abuse is one of those hidden evils in our society so many times and it happens so often in families where we would never think it could. I know of several situations like this.

Posted by Nina Hollander, Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor (RE/MAX Executive | Charlotte, NC) over 1 year ago

Sally and David domestic violence is one of those problems that is kept hush hush which ends up making it even a big

Posted by George Souto, Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert (George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages) over 1 year ago

I attended a women's group for a while and the speaker worked for our local county DA office in the Domestic Violence unit and she has new cases EVERY-DAY!  Unacceptable! Support your local organizations and we need to keep spreading awareness! 

Posted by Kathryn J., Rentec Direct (Rentec Direct) over 1 year ago

Good morning Sally K. & David L. Hanson this is an eye opening post....and it's terrifying for so many women, not to mention the children who witness much of it....and it could happen to any socio-economic group of people.... it doesn't discriminate....

Posted by Barbara Todaro, "Franklin MA Homes" (RE/MAX Executive Realty ) over 1 year ago

Loosing it and using fists, mind games or sheer neglect to guilt... all those mess up the world. Mean people do suck. Control is boring, exhaustive for angry people who can not excuse their bad behavior. Even if born into trauma or drama or whatever dysfunction, addiction. Good post Sally K. & David L. Hanson !

Posted by Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573, Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker (MOOERS REALTY) over 1 year ago

Hello Sally K. & David L. Hanson, domestic violence is real and can happen to anyone. Some have voices, many don't. Thank you for such great post!

Posted by Beth Atalay, Cam Realty of Clermont FL (Cam Realty and Property Management) over 1 year ago

Sally and David- we have to step up and say something and not be afraid to hurt someone's feelings . We have to offer support and a safe haven for anyone who needs hel

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) over 1 year ago

Wonderful post, Sally K. & David L. Hanson .   It's easy to ignore such issues if it doesn't affect us directly. Thanks for encouraging us to pay attention and be involved in supporting those who are abused.  

Posted by Carol Williams, "Customized Mentoring & Marketing Services" (U.S.: I specialize in helping agents who have been in the business 2 years or less create a thriving business.) over 1 year ago

I never expected to see this topic on this site. Your comments have made me realize that real estate professionals may deal with a transfer of property, due to intimate partner violence. It should have occurred to me sooner. I am a survivor of IPV. I hid in a safe house for a year, after leaving an abusive spouse. His pattern of abusive control is described in the excellent book: "TRAUMA and RECOVERY: The aftermath of violence---from domestic abuse to poitical terror," by Judy Herman, MD.

Dr. Herman writes of the "small, hidden concentration camps created by tyrants who rule their homes," connecting the violence to home, a place to be safe. In fact, another author describes the street as a safer place for a woman than her home. I know the feeling of being safer outside my house, where my abuser asserted "control over" me, the dog and the house. The only way to get away from the abuse was to leave my home.

I want to add "Not to People Like Us" by Susan Weitzman, PH.D and recommend her book, too. "Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages" stands the myth on its head that this doesn't happen to us. Not to upper class college educated people. I'm quoting from the book: "A prominent judge who said: "A little abuse would do some of these women good," describing those women with wealthy men who abuse.

The book is an eye-opener on wealth, the system, the police and the legal system and how this can trap a woman into staying with an abuser.

In my talks, and whenever I am with 4 women, I may wonder which one is hiding the fact that someone is abusing her. I know she is hiding it because I hid it. Out of shame. Disbelief that I was so stupid. That I was fooled. That I ignored the early signs, and didn't run at the first sign of abuse. It was there, and I stayed. And it got worse.

I think perhaps realtors, many of them women, may benefit from reading both books. Women are most at risk of being killed when they try to leave, for he cannot stand to lose control of her. So I must not tell a victim of violence to leave. I've learned that saying "You don't deserve to be abused," is a safe comment.
In Baltimore, each female who presents at a hospital ER is routinely questioned to see if she is a victim of violence. I spent a lot of time in hospital emergency rooms. An ER nurse was the first person I whispered this to: "I think I'm being abused."

Posted by Zippy Larson over 1 year ago

Anytime someone brings more light to this topic is a good thing.  I was unaware this month was designated as such, however, coincidentally... just this morning I donated several bags of clothing & 3 boxes of home decor & kitchen items to Women in Distress (a Broward County resource for victims of domestic violence, which has a thrift store).  I could've donated to another charity that also has a thrift store which is much closer to where I live but chose to drive an extra 20 minutes out of my way because I wanted WID to benefit from whatever they're able to sell.

Posted by S. Leanne Paynter ☼ Broward County, FL, Davie, Plantation, Cooper City & Weston Specialist (United Realty Group, Inc.) over 1 year ago

Thank-you for the post and the reminder of how much need there is around us. Thanks for putting this serious issue in the forefront.

Posted by Shirley Coomer, Realtor, Keller Williams Realty, Phoenix Az (Keller Williams Realty Sonoran Living) over 1 year ago

Dear Sally & David,

As Realtors, we can become the lightening rod for an abuser, so pay attention, when you encounter signs of abuse or an abusive attitude from someone. Either party can be dangerous, when they pull you into their maelstrom of emotions. Since you are not involved, you may not recognize the snags swirling around.

Posted by Dörte Engel, ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland (RE/MAX Leading Edge) over 1 year ago

I was raised in a "very disciplined'' home. Being the oldest of 5 children if things didn't go right it was often my fault even if I wasn't there. I felt the backhand often and that nasty leather strip. When I got a full time job and was still living at home and paying "rent", I was still relied upon to keep things up as in household chores and cooking and laundry. The younger ones had their chores also. I bought a car my father co-signed the loan. We had a few altercations about who could and could not drive it in my abscence. When I got married the husband liked to drink. Toward the end of the marriage he swung a beer bottle at me and missed. I didn't miss with my rolling pin that I had just finished washing. Luckily our 2 year old son never saw that. 6 weeks later after the wires were removed from his jaw, I filed for divorce. Did I feel empowered when I connected with his mandibular? NO! I was angry, hurt and told myself never again would I allow another person hit me. I had enough! I was 24 when I got divorced. It was 29 years later before I married again and yes he knows about the rolling pin but we only use it to make pie dough. Every situation is a bit different. No matter what it plays with the victim's psyche and self-esteem. I have seen it among some clients and yes i've questioned the bruises. Have extended and open hand and information for assistance.

Posted by Theresa Akin (CORPUS CHRISTI REALTY GROUP) over 1 year ago

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